she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
