the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
