sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
