you have to choose: penises or morals?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
foreskin is a definite game changer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
