i think my tv is drunk
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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