Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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