But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
