Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
