You're earring is so big in my mouth
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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