My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
