we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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