I'm drive I can fine osifer
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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