no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
