i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
