South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
