Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
