i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize