What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
