So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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