shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
