Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
