you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
