She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
