I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
