The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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