She said her name was "party"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
