I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
