you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
