Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
