ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
