Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sext me about skeletons
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
