return my video game
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
