genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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