i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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