Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
