yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
