But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
