Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
