I accidentally had phone sex last night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
