that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
