how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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