vagina is talking i cant
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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