I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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