What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
