Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize