when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
