it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
