if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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