U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You made out with two different species that night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize