The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
