Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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