I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
