Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
