Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
