It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
