Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
