she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
