the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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