The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
