I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
