i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize