It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
