Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
