All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize