My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize