so that wasnt chicken after all
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
