Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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