I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
as a side note pls kill me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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