What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
