I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
