It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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